Monday, December 20, 2021

A Forest Wedding

In a quiet glade in the forest, Janet the elk lived with her parents. She had recently met two potential suitors, and was planning to bring each back to meet her parents. Janet had grown fond of each in their way and was having trouble decided which one’s proposal to accept.

The first afternoon, she brought along a deer named Harvey. Harvey arrived late and stomped into the glade without a single word of apology. Janet and her parents served a lovely meal of clover salad, ivy blanched in pond water, and a dessert of assorted acorns. Harvey barely ate, complaining that back in his part of the forest they knew how to cook properly and this was all much too poorly seasoned for his taste. When Janet’s parents asked what he did for a living, he merely snorted and grumbled about having beaten all the other deer his age in fights and how that entitled him not to have to worry about silly things like earning a living. The evening ended abruptly when Harvey caught sight of another buck off in the woods and dashed off to pick a fight.

The next afternoon, Janet brought along a moose named Christopher. The family had just finished setting up another meal when Christopher arrived, bringing along a bouquet of daisies and a fresh bottle of sparkling spring water. The family sat down to eat together, and Christopher had nothing but praise for the food and the glade. Over a very pleasant meal, they talked about recent happenings in the forest, as well as Christopher’s travels to the nearby national park where he volunteered, helping the smaller mammals cross the busy roads safely. By the end of the meal, Janet and her parents had an invitation to come visit Christopher and his herd by the waterfall. As the sun began to sink behind the trees, Christopher bid them a fond farewell and headed back home.

Janet’s parents briefly conferred in hushed tones, and then returned to say to her:

🎵We wish you would marry Chris Moose. We wish you would marry Chris Moose. We wish you would marry Chris Moose, and not Harvey the Deer.🎵

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